It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
This baby is an asshole
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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