I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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