it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
