I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
