Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize