we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
