Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
