Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
