I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
