mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize