the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
