I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
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