oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
