If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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