loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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