Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I love how my cats smell like pot.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
