You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
