I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
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