No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
