He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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