I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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