so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
