Betty ford says i'm here all night
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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