dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
