Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
