his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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