hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
