(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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