so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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