I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
