My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
