i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
So many bounce houses so little time
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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