I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
