Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Randomize
