My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
