he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
