i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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