Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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