Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
