when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
