Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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