my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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