i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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