Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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