i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She's the barista slut.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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