Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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