literally had 100 drinks last night.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
