i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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