I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
