My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
