Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
