and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
