Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
