Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
