She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
