why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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