The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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