So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
