If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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