Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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