the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
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How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
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It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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