cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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